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Welcome to The Plonkers™ official web site.
The New Forests very own Original Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra, celebrating their 42nd year in show biz.

The Plonkers™ are an ideal band for County Shows, Local Fetes, Carnivals and Pubs.
Combining the local 'yokel' Hampshur' wit of Golly on banjo, with 'Scrumpy' Country songs and an inventive band of very accomplished mooosicians.

The ORIGINAL Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra started life in 1979, when Golly entered the Lymington carnival with a cider-making machine 'float'. It was a two-wheeled cart, pulled by Plonker, the donkey, with whistles, bells and various gizmos. The cart was followed by Gordon on banjo, Bob on squeeze box, and a trombone and bass drum. They won first prize, playing the chorus of Drink Up Thee Zider (which is all they knew, but as they kept moving the crowd never realised this!) for the whole parade. They did this for a few years until the 'band' numbered 15. Then one year, the Singing Butcher, booked for the Lymington Vintage Fair, couldn't make it, and Golly was asked to stand in - the first booking for The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra. They have been plaguing the New Forest and beyond ever since.
Last revised: July 25, 2020

The Plonkers next public performances will be listed and updated here and, until further notice, all of these will obviously be subject to change.
However, you can still get Plonkerised by purchasing our latest Limited Edition CD.


Pure Culture. - Limited Edition - Second Mix
This is a limited edition collectors early version.
The final version will include new artwork from Golly, and, possibly a bonus track! 

Track listing

1. Rock Around the Barn
2. Combine Harvester #
3. Tanglefoot Twitch
4. Ain't No Bugs On Me
5. Cider Man #
6. Drunk Again
7. Farmers Boy - (Mix 1)
8. Farmers Boy - (Mix 2)
9. Fling It 'ere #
10. Messing Around on the Farmyard #
11. Wedding Song
12. Tiger Rag #
13. Why Don't Women Like Me

To purchase Pure Culture

at £9.99 select

P&P is just £1

To purchase this CD for £9.99 click the 'Add to cart' Button.

Now on sale at all of The Plonker gig's.

# The Cider Man - Lyrics by Sarah Jane
# Fling It 'ere - Moosical Director Janet Cook and The Braishfield Bus Shelter Choir.
Please note: *All 13 tracks are new recordings or previously unreleased versions*

# Combine Harvester, Messing Around on the Farmyard and Tiger Rag Ft. Gary Leport
# Artwork - Golly The Plonker # Recording Engineers - Gary Leport and Steve Smith

All blame for this recording goes Gary Leport and our agricultural engineer Steve Smith, at an open barn, The Room with a View, in a field somewhere near Ringwood

Second Eruption - The Plonkers

2nd ERUPTION.

Track listing

1. The Blackbird
2. Chicken Song
3. I Am A Cider Drinker
4. Pill, Pill
5. Barley Mow
6. Nellie The Elephant
7. Combine Harvester
8. Charlton Mackrell Jug Band
9. Poor Poor Farmer
10. Hark At 'Ee Jethro
11. Don't Tell I Tell 'Ee
12. Twice Daily

(to play a sample, just click the links) 

To purchase Second Eruption

at £9.99 select

P&P is just £1

To purchase this CD for £9.99 click the 'Add to cart' Button.


Rustic Rumpus.

Track listing

1. The Dairy Man #
2. Fling it 'Ere, Fling it There
3. Granny's Old Armchair
4. Buttercup Joe
5. The Cider Man #
6. Farmer's Boy
7. The Backseat Driver Song
8. Star of Love
9. Old English Wedding Song
10. Beauty and the Worm
11. A Roving
12. Lumbered
13. Jake's Hunting Song
14. Drunk Again

To purchase Rustic Rumpus

at £9.99 select

P&P is just £1

To purchase this CD for £9.99 click the 'Add to cart' Button.

Now on sale at all of The Plonker gig's.

# The Dairy Man - The Cider Man - Lyrics by Sarah Jane
# Artwork - Golly The Plonker # Recording Engineer - Steve Smith

Please note that all the music on this CD is played in 'Ampshire time;
this can easily be remedied with a very stiff drink.

All blame for this recording goes to music farmer and agricultural engineer Steve Smith, at an open barn, The Room with a View, in a field somewhere near Ringwood

Proper Moosic - The Plonkers

PROPER MOOSIC. (1st Eruption)

Track listing

1. Landlord Fill The Cider Bowl
2. There Is A Tavern In The Town
3. Thee Cassn't Kill Cooch
4. Five Foot Flirt
5. Buttercup Joe
6. Plonker's Farm Band
7. Drink Up Thy Zider
8. Pill, Pill
9. Jim The Carter's Lad
10. The Old Threshing Mill
11. I Wish I Was Back On The Farm.

(to play a sample, just click the links) 
Recorded in full Plonkerphonic farmyard sound

To purchase Proper Moosic

at £9.99 select

P&P is just £1

To purchase this CD for £9.99 click the 'Add to cart' Button.


What's new:
The Plonkers online shop
is now live. You can now purchase 4 of The Plonkers CD's. Pure Culture, Proper Music, Second Eruption and Rustic Rumpus
This is the first time 'Proper Music' has been available on CD via the internet!
And we now have a new CD 'Pure Culture'
Pure Culture
is the very latest 2020 recording from Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra (13 new songs)
All CD's are priced at £9.99 and P&P is just £1
  Postage and packing is just £1
We normally post our CD's within 24 hours of receiving your order, but please allow up to 10 days for delivery.
Guaranteed to keep your mother-in-law and any other unwelcome relatives away
Remember these CD's always sound better with alcohol

The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra Photo Stream is now live, just click on the image to open (please note, this opens in a new window)

The Plonkers playing at The Downton Cuckoo Fair.

The Plonkers at Brockenhurst Station to mark The Queen’s 90th Birthday.

'Plonkers' dodging leather cricket balls at Pylewell Cricket Club


How to book The Plonkers.
If you would like to book The Plonkers, please email:
info@theplonkers.com


See The Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra live
For full details of up and coming bookings

Click here for the full updated Gig list
Many of The Plonkers gigs are only arranged with as little as a weeks notice so please check here for the regular updates.


Get in touch

Email: info@theplonkers.com


This page was last revised on: July 25, 2020


For more details:
Email:
info@theplonkers.com
Copyright © 2020 (The Plonkers® Agricultural Orchestra). All rights reserved
*TM Trade mark No. 2393125 registered at the UK Patent Office press release


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