Welcome to The Plonkers official web site.
The New Forests very own Original Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra, The Plonkers
Celebrating their 40th Year in show biz.

The Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra are an ideal band for County Shows, Local Fetes, Carnivals and Pubs.
Combining the local 'yokel' Hampshur' wit of Golly on banjo, with 'Scrumpy' Country songs and an inventive band of very accomplished mooosicians.

The ORIGINAL Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra started life in 1979, when Golly entered the Lymington carnival with a cider-making machine 'float'. It was a two-wheeled cart, pulled by Plonker, the donkey, with whistles, bells and various gizmos. The cart was followed by Gordon on banjo, Bob on squeeze box, and a trombone and bass drum. They won first prize, playing the chorus of Drink Up Thee Zider (which is all they knew, but as they kept moving the crowd never realised this!) for the whole parade. They did this for a few years until the 'band' numbered 15. Then one year, the Singing Butcher, booked for the Lymington Vintage Fair, couldn't make it, and Golly was asked to stand in - the first booking for The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra. They have been plaguing the New Forest and beyond ever since.
Last revised: July 11, 2019

The Plonkers are going on trial, 13th May, for more info, scroll down now.

Pictures from the 2017 Downton Cuckoo Fair, Click here to view.  If you can take it, scroll down the page for more!

The Plonkers next public performances are:

Sat 4th May 2019, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

The Downton Cuckoo Fair.
The Cuckoo Fair, Downton, Salisbury, WILTS

With a family-friendly festival atmosphere, the fair is held on the village greens in the picturesque village of Downton,
six miles south of Salisbury on the edge of the New Forest on the Wiltshire/Hampshire border.
The Plonkers will be playing live 'on the green'


Mon 13th May 2019, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing on:

The Judge Rinder Show.
They're on ITV on the 13th May, 2019 at 2pm in the afternoon.

The Plonkers are on trial.
Will they end up in Alcatraz, will they be taken to Guantanamo Bay for interrogation, or will they be given a jug of cider and sent home.
This is a real arbitration show in which real, small-claims cases are adjudicated over, within a studio courtroom, by Judge Robert Rinder.
After questioning the claimant, defendant and witnesses, and assessing the evidence, Judge Rinder makes a ruling on each case.
So, tune in on the 13th May, WILL IT BE THEIR LUCKY DAY? If you miss it, Tune into the ITV hub.

Sat 18th and Sun 19th May 2019, Golly, from The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

Steam at the Hoops, The Hoops, High Street, Bassingbourn, Hertfordshire, SG8 5LF.
Golly will be in the beer tent during the day, and in the pub during the evening, (where else would you expect him to be!)

This popular event is organised by Royston & District Round Table with their local pub, The Hoops in Bassingbourn, Cambridgeshire.

From a small gathering and one steam roller in 2013, the event is becoming larger and more popular each year. With free entry, there will be a host of entertainment for all the family to enjoy including:
Steam Engines, Fairground Organ, Miniatures, Vintage & Classic Cars, Tractors, Commercials and Stationary Engines.
Hog Roast and BBQ, Grand Raffle & Auction. Bouncy Castle. FREE ENTRY
The bar will be open all day from 11am

Fri 24th May to Mon 27th May 2019, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

The Wheel Inn, Pennington

The Wheel Inn Spring Festival.
The Bowling Green, Pennington, SO41 8LJ

On site with the The Plonkers new mobile stage will be, Golly, Gary, Gilly baby, and at great expense guest stars including, Jamie Adams and Dicky Borthwick Hedgerow.
Friday, 6-11 guest ales, live music in the bar, real barbeque, bouncy castle.
Saturday, 11am till late; in the field, live music, hog roast, £2 adults children free, stalls, barbeque, dog show and display, bouncy castle and lots more.
Sunday, midday till 3pm live music, barbeque, pub food, free entry.
Monday. TBA

Sat 6th & Sun 7th July 2019, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:


The Chickerell Steam and Vintage Show.
Moor Farm, Knights in the Bottom, Weymouth, Dorset, DT3 4EA

The Plonkers second visit to this great Dorset show.

More details soon

The Chickerell steam and vintage show Ltd is the new name for Portland steam and vintage show Ltd and is a public interest company based in South Dorset that proudly holds the annual Chickerell steam and vintage show at Moor farm, Knights in the bottom, Chickerell during the first weekend of July. The show has established itself as a mainstay of the Dorset vintage show calendar and continues to go from strength to strength.

Sat 13th & Sun 14th July 2019, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

Historic Transport Club -Devon Coastal Safety Run

The Historic Transport Club - Devon Coastal Safety Run
Mill Marsh Park, off St John's Lane
Bovey Tracey, Devon TQ13 9AL
The Plonkers are going to Plonkerise Devon yet again!

The 40th Devon Coastal Safety Run is on Sunday 15th July 2018.
The Historic Transport Club - Devon Coastal Safety Run covers 70 miles of glorious Devon coastal and country scenery.
The run starts at Exeter and is finishing in the town of Bovey Tracey with an intermediate stop at Goodrington Sands.
More details at:

Fri 26th to Sun 28th July 2019, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

Boconnoc Steam and Vintage Fair
Boconnoc, Lostwithiel, Cornwall, PL22 0RG.
The home of the Fair is the beautiful Boconnoc Estate near Fowey, Cornwall.

The Plonkers are back in Cornwall yet again!
Boconnoc Steam and Vintage Fair 2019, Steam and Vintage Fun for all the family
Experience Rides, demos and more, explore a wealth of heritage.

2019 Day Ticket Rates Adults: £10.00 - Family (2 Adults, up to 3 Children): £28.00 - Children under 16: £5.00
Day tickets can be bought on site on the day.

Fri 2nd, Sat 3rd & Sun 4th Aug 2019, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

Torbay Steam Fair.

Stand by Torbay, The Plonkers are going to Plonkerise Devon yet again!
Playing live Saturday and Sunday

More details on the exact gig times as we get them.

Bank holiday, 24th, 25th and 26th August 2019, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

The Great Trethew Vintage Rally, Great Trethew, Horningtops, Liskeard, Cornwall PL14 3PZ
The Plonkers are playing live at the Great Trethew rally on all three days.
You can find this event midway between Liskeard and Looe.

What's on at the Rally
Commercial, Steam and Military Vehicles, Vintage Tractors, Cars and Motorbikes, Steam Engines, Horticultural equipment and Stationary Engines
A Fun Dog Show, Craft and Country Demonstrations, Music, many Live Bands including The Plonkers, Children's Entertainment

The Great Trethew Vintage Rally takes place on 24th, 25th and 26th August at Great Trethew, Horningtops, Liskeard, Cornwall PL14 3PZ. Doors open at 8am, show commences at 10am until 6pm.

Saturday  7th and Sunday 8th September, 2019, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:


The Dorset County Show, Showground Site, Dorchester Showground, Cokers Frome, Dorchester, Dorset, DT2 7SD.
The Plonkers will be playing live on both days.

The Dorset County Show regularly attracts huge crowds and offers a complete cross section of regional life from town based families enjoying a taste of country life, to farmers and those in the equestrian industries.
There are also over 500 trade stands; many cover specialist areas, Agricultural, Motor, Shopping and Artisan Crafts.
Nothing genetically modified, Real Sheep, Real Cows, Real Pigs, and for the first time, The Real Plonkers will be performing on their new 10 ton mobile stage. Web site:

Saturday  28th and Sunday 29th September, 2019, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:
The Burley Steam and Vintage Vehicle show.
Burley Park, Burley , BH244DJ
Sat 28th and Sun 29th September 2019
Golly will be appearing with The Plonkers new mobile stage, and, a gaggle of disorderly guests and resident players.
Be warned, Golly is doubling up as stage manager for the weekend, anything can and WILL happen. So don't say that you've not been warned!!!!! 

The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra Photo Stream is now live, just click on the image to open (please note, this opens in a new window)

The Plonkers playing at The Downton Cuckoo Fair.

The Plonkers at Brockenhurst Station to mark The Queen’s 90th Birthday.

'Plonkers' dodging leather cricket balls at Pylewell Cricket Club

Click here for The Plonkers 2018 Gig List

  Latest News: 
The Plonkers® now have their latest CD 'In the can' Featuring Golly, Janette, and Rustic Ray,
'RUSTIC RUMPUS' has 15 new songs and is available now online and at gigs.
Available now, online and at all gigs

What's new:
The Plonkers online shop is now live. You can now purchase 3 of The Plonkers CD's. Proper Music, Second Eruption and Rustic Rumpus
This is the first time 'Proper Music' has been available on CD via the internet!
So, we now have 2 new CD's, 'Janet Beale On Accordion' and 'Rustic Rumpus'
Rustic Rumpus
is the very latest 2012 recording from Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra (15 new songs)
All CD's are priced at £9.99 and P&P is just £1 per order, so why not order more, it's still only £1
  Postage and packing is just £1 per order
We normally post our CD's within 24 hours of receiving your order, but please allow up to 10 days for delivery.
Guaranteed to keep your mother-in-law and any other unwelcome relatives away
Remember these CD's always sound better with alcohol


How to book The Plonkers..

If you would like to book The Plonkers, please email:

See The Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra live
For full details of up and coming bookings

Click here for the full updated Gig list
Many of The Plonkers gigs are only arranged with as little as a weeks notice so please check here for the regular updates.

This page was last revised on: July 11, 2019

The Plonker's™ band line up

The main band members of The Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra™ can be viewed here:

Get in touch


Last revised: July 11, 2019, 'Ampshire time

What is 'Ampshire time you ask?
according to Golly, 'Ampshire time is:
You eat when your hungry,
you go to bed when your tired,
and you get the job done when its finished.

The next update will be...................'Ampshire time
The clock on the right is set to 'Ampshire time

           'Ampshire time

For more details:
Copyright © 2019 (The Plonkers® Agricultural Orchestra). All rights reserved
*TM Trade mark No. 2393125 registered at the UK Patent Office press release

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