Welcome to The Plonkers official web site.
The New Forests very own Original Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra, The Plonkers
Celebrating their 40th Year in show biz.

The Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra are an ideal band for County Shows, Local Fetes, Carnivals and Pubs.
Combining the local 'yokel' Hampshur' wit of Golly on banjo, with 'Scrumpy' Country songs and an inventive band of very accomplished mooosicians.

The ORIGINAL Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra started life in 1979, when Golly entered the Lymington carnival with a cider-making machine 'float'. It was a two-wheeled cart, pulled by Plonker, the donkey, with whistles, bells and various gizmos. The cart was followed by Gordon on banjo, Bob on squeeze box, and a trombone and bass drum. They won first prize, playing the chorus of Drink Up Thee Zider (which is all they knew, but as they kept moving the crowd never realised this!) for the whole parade. They did this for a few years until the 'band' numbered 15. Then one year, the Singing Butcher, booked for the Lymington Vintage Fair, couldn't make it, and Golly was asked to stand in - the first booking for The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra. They have been plaguing the New Forest and beyond ever since.
Last revised: August 13, 2019

The Plonkers next public performances are:

16th, 17th and 18th August 2019, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

The Cornish Steam & Country Fair,

Stithians Showground, Truro, Cornwall TR3 7DP

The Plonkers are playing live at the Cornish Steam & Country Fair on all three days.

The 2019 Cornish Steam & Country Fair is the 63rd annual event organised by WESES Ltd on behalf of the West of England Steam Engine Society. The show is very much a family event. As well as Steam Engines, Fun Fair, Vintage Vehicles, Model and Craft displays, there is everything to entertain all the family around the show, including, The Plonkers.
Their 2019 show promises to be the best yet as it aims to build on previous year's events. From bouncy castles to vintage wood sawing, trade stands to heavy horse working demonstrations there is something for everyone.
Admission gates open to the public at 9am on all 3 days, with a wide variety of ring events and displays around the showground continuously from 10am through to 5pm.

Bank holiday, 24th, 25th and 26th August 2019, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:

The Great Trethew Vintage Rally, Great Trethew, Horningtops, Liskeard, Cornwall PL14 3PZ
The Plonkers are playing live at the Great Trethew rally on all three days.
You can find this event midway between Liskeard and Looe.

What's on at the Rally
Commercial, Steam and Military Vehicles, Vintage Tractors, Cars and Motorbikes, Steam Engines, Horticultural equipment and Stationary Engines
A Fun Dog Show, Craft and Country Demonstrations, Music, many Live Bands including The Plonkers, Children's Entertainment

The Great Trethew Vintage Rally takes place on 24th, 25th and 26th August at Great Trethew, Horningtops, Liskeard, Cornwall PL14 3PZ. Doors open at 8am, show commences at 10am until 6pm.

Saturday  7th and Sunday 8th September, 2019, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:


The Dorset County Show, Showground Site, Dorchester Showground, Cokers Frome, Dorchester, Dorset, DT2 7SD.
The Plonkers will be playing live on both days.

The Dorset County Show regularly attracts huge crowds and offers a complete cross section of regional life from town based families enjoying a taste of country life, to farmers and those in the equestrian industries.
There are also over 500 trade stands; many cover specialist areas, Agricultural, Motor, Shopping and Artisan Crafts.
Nothing genetically modified, Real Sheep, Real Cows, Real Pigs, and for the first time, The Real Plonkers will be performing on their new 10 ton mobile stage. Web site:

Saturday  28th and Sunday 29th September, 2019, The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra will be appearing at:
The Burley Steam and Vintage Vehicle show.
Burley Park, Burley , BH244DJ
Sat 28th and Sun 29th September 2019
Golly will be appearing with The Plonkers new mobile stage, and, a gaggle of disorderly guests and resident players.
Be warned, Golly is doubling up as stage manager for the weekend, anything can and WILL happen. So don't say that you've not been warned!!!!! 

The Plonker's Agricultural Orchestra Photo Stream is now live, just click on the image to open (please note, this opens in a new window)

The Plonkers playing at The Downton Cuckoo Fair.

The Plonkers at Brockenhurst Station to mark The Queen’s 90th Birthday.

'Plonkers' dodging leather cricket balls at Pylewell Cricket Club

Click here for The Plonkers 2019 Gig List

  Latest News: 
The Plonkers® now have their latest CD 'In the can' Featuring Golly, Janette, and Rustic Ray,
'RUSTIC RUMPUS' has 15 new songs and is available now online and at gigs.
Available now, online and at all gigs

What's new:
The Plonkers online shop is now live. You can now purchase 3 of The Plonkers CD's. Proper Music, Second Eruption and Rustic Rumpus
This is the first time 'Proper Music' has been available on CD via the internet!
So, we now have a new CD 'Rustic Rumpus'
Rustic Rumpus
is the very latest 2012 recording from Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra (15 new songs)
All CD's are priced at £9.99 and P&P is just £1 per order, so why not order more, it's still only £1
  Postage and packing is just £1 per order
We normally post our CD's within 24 hours of receiving your order, but please allow up to 10 days for delivery.
Guaranteed to keep your mother-in-law and any other unwelcome relatives away
Remember these CD's always sound better with alcohol


How to book The Plonkers..

If you would like to book The Plonkers, please email:

See The Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra live
For full details of up and coming bookings

Click here for the full updated Gig list
Many of The Plonkers gigs are only arranged with as little as a weeks notice so please check here for the regular updates.

This page was last revised on: August 13, 2019

The Plonker's™ band line up

The main band members of The Plonkers Agricultural Orchestra™ can be viewed here:

Get in touch


Last revised: August 13, 2019, 'Ampshire time

What is 'Ampshire time you ask?
according to Golly, 'Ampshire time is:
You eat when your hungry,
you go to bed when your tired,
and you get the job done when its finished.

The next update will be...................'Ampshire time
The clock on the right is set to 'Ampshire time

           'Ampshire time

For more details:
Copyright © 2019 (The Plonkers® Agricultural Orchestra). All rights reserved
*TM Trade mark No. 2393125 registered at the UK Patent Office press release

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